


The Phone Call

by satin_doll



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Sequel to The Hideous Monstrosity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:06:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8554978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satin_doll/pseuds/satin_doll
Summary: Mrs. Hudson makes a phone call. Follow up to The Hideous Monstrosity.





	

**Author's Note:**

> What happens after Mrs. Hudson discovers Molly and Sherlock on the floor when she brings Sherlock his morning tea - a sequel (of sorts) to The Hideous Monstrosity.

Mrs. Hudson was slightly breathless when Mary answered her call.

“They did it! They actually did it, I found them this morning! I owe you ten pounds!” She collapsed into giggles.

“Wait, what? Why were you in his bedroom?”

“Oh no, they weren’t in the bedroom, silly! They were on the floor!”

“I’m not sure that’s better. What floor and why?”

Mrs. Hudson sighed, the wind sucked slightly out of her sails by Mary’s questions.

“I went in to take them tea this morning, and...there they were, the two of them, just lying on the floor between the two chairs, naked as babes, all wrapped around each other. I thought it was a bit odd, I mean they had a cover and all but still...the floor? But then I was just so glad to see them together at all, and I had to come down and tell you…”

“Molly was pretty well sloshed when I dropped her off last night. I think she was trying to drink for both of us since I can’t. Gawd, I wonder how she got him on the floor! Have you heard anything from up there since you left, any moving around...or shouting…?”

“Well, no. I just left the tea and came back down. I didn’t want to disturb them in case...you know…” Mrs. Hudson giggled a bit. “I mean, you know how much energy Sherlock’s got, and now that he’s using it for something besides cases and experiments and gathering body parts and shouting and...well, you know. They could be on their second or third round by now…”

Mary had surrendered to full blown laughter at this point, as Mrs. Hudson continued.

“Sherlock was only just covered with that old throw, and I have to say, Mary, he’s been depriving the women of London of quite a...Mary, what’s wrong?”

Mary shrieked, gasping for breath. “No! No no no no no!! Please!! I can’t hear this!!” The words were barely intelligible as she choked them out between gasps. She pressed a hand against her swollen belly and tried to breathe. “Oh my God!!” 

John landed at the bottom of the stairs, having taken them three at a time, and shouted at Mary, “WHAT! WHAT IS IT, WHAT’S WRONG!! IS IT TIME?!” He stared at her, panting, one hand grabbing at the back of a chair for balance, the other clutching a towel tightly around his lower half, his eyes wide and round as saucers. 

Mary was doubled over, clutching her belly. She was making noises like the baby was being squeezed out of her navel. He scooted across the floor, bent and put his arm around her shoulders, still trying to hold on to his towel. 

“Okay, it’s okay, it’s all fine, let’s get you ready to go…” 

Mary straightened as best she could, still gasping for breath, and tried to gently push John away. She looked at him in his towel, half his frowning face covered with shaving lather, and a fresh wave of laughter began rolling out of her. 

John noticed she had her phone in her hand then, and from the speaker he could barely hear another tiny voice saying, “Mary? Are you okay? What’s happening? I still have more to tell you about them…” followed by a spurt of giggling.

“Is that Mrs. Hudson?”

Mary nodded, her mouth clamped shut, tears streaming down her face. Her legs were crossed and she was still trying to get her breath. 

“Oh God, John, I think I need clean pants!” And the laughter started yet again. From the phone came cackles and giggles and horrifying sounds no human should be allowed to make. 

By this time, John had surmised that his due-any-minute-now wife was not actually in labor. He watched her for a few minutes more to be sure, then did an abrupt about face and marched up the stairs again, muttering under his breath about dignity and grownups and women in general. 

After another five minutes of giggles, chortles, squeals and guffaws, most of them human-sounding, both Mary and Mrs. Hudson began to wind down. Wiping tears from her eyes and snot from her nose with the back of her hand, Mary managed to squeak at Mrs. Hudson in a very poor imitation of sanity.

“Seriously, don’t you think you should go and check on them? Just to make sure...you know, that it took and they’ve not regressed to the way they were?”

Mrs. Hudson sniffed. “Noooo, I don’t think so! The way they were tangled up around each other, I think it’s a pretty sure bet that they’re managing just fine.” She sighed. “Oh, I’m so glad they finally worked it out. Even if they were smashed when they did it - I did see an empty bottle lying by the chair. They can’t really UN-do it now can they.”

Mary grinned to herself. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall right now…”

Mrs. Hudson tittered. “Mary, really. Trust me, you wouldn’t want Sherlock discovering you stuck on his wall. You’d be flat in an instant. Or shot. Or chemically eradicated or saved in a jar for an experiment!” She giggled again. “Although I wouldn’t mind getting a full report from Molly. Doubt that’s going to happen, at least not for a while..”

“Oh, I’ll get it out of her! Keep me posted, Martha. I have to go make amends to someone upstairs.”

“I will, dear. Bye-bye!”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, indeed, money did exchange hands! 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments, reviews, etc., welcomed and encouraged.


End file.
